伶女作文贴～～～

伶女UID: 2797207

请大家多多指教:loveliness:

伶女UID: 2797207

7.6
It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.

When it comes to limited land resources nowadays, a hot controversy emerges that who should those lands be reserved for, human beings or endangered animals? Some people deem that it is more important for human beings because today land is precious for people, but others believe that we should reserve land for endangered animals that might extinct. In my perspective, I am in favor of the later assertion in terms of my personal experience and emotions. My specific reasons are presented as follows:

To begin with, habitat is a significant factor that allows animals to live, especially for those in danger. Only in an appropriate and steady habitat can animals live, feed and breed. Then the population of the species will stay in a specific spectrum, which is also fit to the biological chain. As a result, the species can survive for a long time. In fact, many endangered animals are the consequences of their demolished habitats. For example, when people regulate a land for development of a city or farm, they would cut down the trees for furniture, burn the woods for farmland and fill up the lake for modern buildings. So the formal species on this land will lost their habitat which provides shelter and food. Consequently, they can afford their offspring or even themselves. Then the population of the species will decrease to the edge of extinction.

Furthermore, human beings have duty to preserve other livings on this planet from extinction. The population of human beings increased extreme-rapidly last hundreds of years, so did their needs for food and space. People need much more lands to afford such huge population, so that the only way is to invade the habitats of other species. As we see, many animals are in danger or already extinct. As one of the main course of this phenomenon, human beings must take the responsibility to protect those endangered animals and one of the most effective ways is to turn back their habitat or provide a steady habitat for them.

To sum up, we should reserve land for those endangered animals for the reason that better habitats is a significant way for them to survive and human beings have duty to protect those animals.

zenglingyuanUID: 2773905

我觉得写得蛮不错的 开头直接入主题用词很到位 各种句子用的错落有致 段落开头主题句 有细节支持 我觉得很不错 看到出来是有功底的

可能唯一感觉都点不足的是 每段结尾其实可以相对在用一句重申自己的段落中心这样虽说有点八股但是中心更明确
二个 我觉得你2个观点不是很明确第一个段落例子就是讲 Then the population of the species will decrease to the edge of extinction.
第二段又是As we see, many animals are in danger or already extinct.

总之这2个理由交集太多了而且你只有2个观点 相对来说感觉有点重复
呵呵 以上之上个人观点 我水平不行只能看到这些 期待你的宝贵意见https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1&extra=

伶女UID: 2797207

3# zenglingyuan
谢谢呢:)

694055322UID: 2792795

It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animals.0 ]1 t8 T1 G: T; W9 I

When it comes to limited land resources nowadays, a hot controversy emerges that who should those lands be reserved for（两个语法错误，一个是既然是从句就应该是陈述句，should不应该提前，然后，你这里是用了一个同位语从句，但是出现了两个关联词，一个是that，一个是who,只有同位语从句是陈述句的时候需要用到that，而在这里，从句是特殊疑问句，那么原来的who就可以做连词了，去掉that）, human beings or endangered animals? Some people deem that it is more important for human beings because today land is precious for people, but others believe that we should reserve land for endangered animals that might become extinct（是形容词）. In（改成From） my perspective, I am in favor of the later assertion in terms of my personal experience and emotions. My specific reasons are presented as follows:
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To begin with, habitats is a significant factor that allows animals to live, especially for those in danger. Only in an appropriate and steady habitat can animals live, feed and breed. Then the population of the species will stay in a specific spectrum, which is also fit to the biological chain. As a result, the species can survive for a long time. In fact, many endangered animals are the consequences of their demolished habitats. For example, when people regulate a land for development of a city or farm, they would cut down the trees for furniture, burn the woods for farmland and fill up the lake for modern buildings. So the formal species on this land will lost their habitat which provides shelter and food. Consequently, they can afford their offspring or even themselves. Then the population of the species will decrease to the edge of extinction.& Y; r9 w1 n, Z! L+ @% E
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Furthermore, human beings have duty to preserve other livings on this planet from extinction. The population of human beings increased extreme-rapidly(extremely rapidly)in the last hundreds of years, so did their needs for food and space. People need much more lands to afford such huge population, so that the only way is to invade the habitats of other species. As we see, many animals are in danger or already extinct. As one of the main course of this phenomenon, human beings must take the responsibility to protect those endangered animals and one of the most effective ways is to turn back their habitat or provide a steady habitat for them.

To sum up, we should reserve land for those endangered animals for the reason that better habitats is a significant way for them to survive and human beings have duty to protect those animals.
语法和词汇没有大问题，但是文章主题部分的意见，请参见楼上的楼上
请赐教：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1115067&extra=

伶女UID: 2797207

7.8
Students would receive a better, effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.

It is widely believed that people will be educated well in school. But the more time students spend in school, the better and more effective education they will receive? Some people deem that extended class-time will provide students more opportunities to study which will improve their study effectively. Others think more time in class doesn’t equal to efficient. Nevertheless,  I ‘m in favor of the later assertion in terms of my personal experience.

To begin with, effective education shouldn’t limited students in school. The requirement to attend classes for 11 month of a year means that students must spend almost the whole year in school. And their lives will be fulfilled with classes and homework. School will dominate their lives, which should have been dominated by the students themselves. If they have to attend 11 months classes, they will have no time to concentrate on the field they interest in. In fact, many people achieved in the field they like during the off-school time. For example, Bill Gates dropped school and devoted himself into digital world and acquired great success; Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of facebook which is the most popular communication website in the world, left Harvard University as Gates did, but out of the school he finds his career and people from all around the world respect this young man. Therefore, extended class time will limite students’ development instead of giving them effective education.

Furthermore, extended class time will also decrease the rest time for students and increase the fatigue of students on study. The appropriate combination of study and release will promote the efficient of education. Breaking this balance will definitely make things worse. Students will be tired about study and school. So how could we turn the education more effective?

As a consequence, extending class time into 11 months a year is not a good way to improve the education from my perspective. Because it will limited students’ development and reduce their passion on study.

whhckUID: 2604077

见群邮件

zenglingyuanUID: 2773905

呵呵不要意思伶女现在才改你作文 昨天电脑出了问题 明天就考试早上坐了个模拟题 下不为例个  呵呵:)
Students would receive a better, effective education if they were required to attend classes for 11 months of a year.

It is widely believed that people will be educated well in school. But the more time students spend in school, the better and more effective education they will receive? Some people deem that extended class-time will provide students more opportunities to study which will improve their study effectively. Others think more time in class doesn’t equal to efficient. Nevertheless,  I ‘m in favor of the later assertion in terms of my personal experience
  To begin with, effective education shouldn’t limited students in school. The requirement to attend classes for 11 month of a year means that students must spend almost the whole year in school. And their lives will be fulfilled with classes and homework. School will dominate their lives, which should have been dominated（可以改个词 administrate)by the students themselves. If they have to attend 11 months classes, they will have no time to concentrate on the field they interest in. In fact, many people achieved in the field they like (fond)during the off-school time. For example, Bill Gates dropped school and devoted himself into digital world and acquired great success; Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of facebook which is the most popular communication website in the world, left Harvard University as Gates did, but(应该是因果关系吧） out of the school he finds his career and people from all around the world respect this young man. Therefore, extended class time will limite students’ development instead of giving them effective education.（这一段的第一句最好明确提出观点）

   Furthermore, extended class time will also decrease the rest time for students and increase the fatigue of students on study. The appropriate combination of study and release will promote the efficient of education. Breaking this balance will definitely make things worse. Students will be tired about  study and school. So how could we turn the education more effective?- |4 N. X" \8 k+ Q& M' {As a （这一句有点突兀还以为你下面要讲怎么有效率的学习，注意把握总结句）  
    consequence, extending class time into 11 months a year is not a good way to improve the education from（according to my perspective. Because it will limited students’ development and reduce their passion on study
写的不错 就是在一些逻辑上还有待推敲  用词可以多样化 结构句一定要明显 简练
我这次感觉不好 希望你的猛拍https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1118540-1-1.html

NO.xiaoyuyuUID: 2842596

It is widely believed that people will be educated well in school. But the more time students spend in school, the better and more effective education they will receive? Some people deem that extended class-time will provide students more opportunities to study which will improve their study effectively. Others think more time in class doesn’t equal to efficiency (efficient adj.). Nevertheless,  I ‘m in favor of the later assertion in terms of my personal experience.* a- S' {  `" G9 W2 W4 e& t/ _" T' ]
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To begin with, effective education shouldn’t limited (students 我觉得去掉) in school. The requirement to attend classes for 11 month（s） of a year means that students must spend almost the whole year in school. And their lives will be fulfilled with classes and homework. School will dominate their lives, which should have been dominated by the students themselves.(不明白，呵呵～) If they have to attend 11 months classes, they will have no time to concentrate on the (other)field(s) they have been interested in (interest in). In fact, many people achieved in the field(s) they like during the off-school time. For example, Bill Gates dropped school and devoted himself into digital world and acquired great success; Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of facebook which is the most popular communication website in the world, left(ing) Harvard University as Gates did, but out of the school he found (finds) his career and people from all around the world respect this young man. Therefore, extended class time will limit (limite) students’ development instead of giving them effective education." O3 O5 ?6 b% z* n6 {
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Furthermore, extended class time will also decrease the rest time for students and increase the fatigue of students on study. The appropriate combination of (the time of加上是不是好点？) study and release will promote the efficient of education. Breaking this balance will definitely make things worse. Students will be tired of (about) study and school. So how could we turn the education more effective?8 k! M5 G1 x8 i: z* A+ P3 n

As a consequence, extending class time into 11 months a year is not a good way to improve the education from my perspective. Because it will limited students’ development and reduce their passion on study.
呵呵，里面有部分词汇我学到了！ 我也觉得应该改写下词和句子（我也是有这种问题，可能还是需要积累吧） 所以说：大家共勉吧！！加油加油！！

伶女UID: 2797207

7.13
It’s better to watch serious movies that helppeople think than to watch movies that could amuse and entertain people

Along with the development of filmindustry, people have quite more choices on what kinds of movies to watch. Two categoriesare the most universal: serious movies that designed to make audience to thinkand other movies that designed amuse and entertain people. Some people deem thatserious movie reflects the problems of society so that it is meaningful ratherthan being comical, while others believe that movies tend to entertain peopleprimarily and watching movies like this is better. My personal viewpoint isdemonstrated as follows:

One phenomenon we have to mention is thatmovies have become a part of people’ life mostly for entertainment. Watching moviesis an effective way to relieve stress on daily life especially for thoseamusing ones. As soon as we addict ourselves into the comical plot of the filmtroubles and bad mood will be thrown out from our mind. So my best friendalways reminds me that if anything is bothering you, ask me to bring you to thecinema. Besides, movies can also be for time-consuming and chatting. Consequently,most audiences don’t treat movies seriously sometimes. And by this time, thosecomical movies are good for people.

However, many people claim that movie is anart form that should extrude deep conception of the work, which will helpaudience think about their life. In this method, directors should present animportant issue that hasn’t been thoroughly discussed so that to make theiraudience consider a question that they never take into account. Thereby, themovie will draw the public’s attention and might contribute to the culture or society.Though this kind of movie is lack of humorous, their meaningfulness will not beignored.

From my perspective, movie is a mediaproduction and it must satisfy the needs for publics or society. This is howthose two categories form. Nowadays people have stepped into a busy daily lifethey need release as a result and the advances in film industry have made moviea perfect carrier for conveying new questions about society. People couldchoose serious movies to get enlightenment of life or choose amusing movieswhen they feel stressful.

NO.xiaoyuyuUID: 2842596

Along with the development of film industry, people have quite more choices on what kinds of movies to watch. Two categories are the most universal: serious movies that designed to make audience to think and other movies that designed amuse and entertain people. Some people deem that serious movie(s) reflect(s去掉) the problems of society so that it is meaningful rather than being comical, while others believe that movies tend to entertain people primarily and watching movies like this is better. My personal viewpoint is demonstrated as follows:
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One phenomenon we have to mention is that movies have become a part of people（s）’ lives(life) mostly for entertainment. Watching movies is an effective way to relieve stress on daily life especially for those amusing ones. As soon as we addict ourselves into the comical plot of the film(s’) troubles and bad mood will be thrown out from our mind. So my best friend always reminds me that if anything is bothering you, ask me to bring you to the cinema. Besides, movies can also be (used) for time-consuming and chatting. Consequently, most audiences don’t treat movies seriously sometimes. And by this time, those comical movies are good for people.  S- x4 V7 D/ N, Q8 }
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However, many people claim that movie is an art form that should extrude deep conception of the work, which will help audience think about their lives(life). In this method, directors should present an important issue that hasn’t been thoroughly discussed so that to make their audience consider a question that they never took(take) into account. Thereby, the movie will draw the public’s attention and might contribute to the culture or society. Though this kind of movie(s) are(is) lack of humorous, their meaningfulness will not be ignored.  e: s! d" ?5 s; w
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From my perspective, movie is a media production and it must satisfy the needs for publics or society. (This is how those two categories form. 不太明白啊)Nowadays people have stepped into a busy daily life they need release as a result and the advances in film industry have made movie（s） a perfect carrier for conveying new questions about society. People could choose serious movies to get enlightenment of life or choose amusing movies when they feel stressful.
楼主写这篇不错呢！结构清晰，很多句子也值得我学习！学习了！我写这篇特纠结当时！还有点跑题好像！
ps：我总是超时，楼主有经验给我介绍下不？

scarlett-zUID: 2722333

发邮件给你哦~~~

伶女UID: 2797207

11# NO.xiaoyuyu
我也常超时的说~~~~
一起加油!

伶女UID: 2797207

7.20"C7 h8 V  q& ]
Businessmen are only motivated by desire of money

There is a general debate on businessmen overthe question that if they are only motivated by desire of money. A large numberof people tend to live under the illusion that money is the only reason that pushesbusinessmen to chase success. In fact, they fail to take into account thatmoney is merely a small part in a businessman’s career. From my perspective,money couldn’t be the only motivation for several reasons as follows:

To begin with, money might not be a motivationat all. I would like to take Bill Gates, one of the richest businessmen in theworld, for example. He was a student in Harvard University when he was young. Asit known to all that degree from Harvard almost guarantee for bright future of goodcompanies, steady work and high salaries. But Gates dropped school and establishedhis own workplace to pursue his dream on computer and software. He chose toface and challenge an unknown future instead of a fluent life with a good job. Thereby,if he was motivated only by desire of money, he shouldn’t have left Harvard. ToBill Gates, money might never be a motivation.

Furthermore, many other factors that motivatebusinessmen to achieve should be taken into consideration. In Darwin’s theoryof evolution, excellent species that are able to adapt environment well will bekeep to further development while other species will turn down and evendisappear. It makes sense in market, too. Business seems like a war related thematter of life and death. Only winner can stay. So there are variety of challengesmotivate businessmen to win their war. And during this procedure, they gainconfidence, realize their weak points and improve themselves, which will also transformto motivation when next challenge comes. In my opinion, all the motivation mentionedabove are much more meaningful than the desire of money to businessmen.

From what we have been discussed, we maysafely draw the conclusion that, although some people deem that businessmen aremotivated by desire of money, money might not be a motivation at all and thereare many other meaningful motivation for businessmen to achieve their goal.

懒人一枚UID: 2838780

Mark，不好意思啊，明天白天改，晚上传上来。