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[习作点评] ISSUE38 求修改,求拍!谢谢 [复制链接]

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发表于 2014-12-14 21:04:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 yidea 于 2014-12-14 21:06 编辑

It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves.

How do we define ourselves, through our identification with social groups or through our self-acknowledge? As presented in a n issue, the speaker holds the idea that human beings mainly define themselves by associating  with others. In my opinion, I concede  that it is necessary for us to know ourselves through the social group, since there are few people can survive  well without interaction with others, not mention defining themselves. However, when people define themselves, both their own social experience and own personalities play substantial roles.

Admittedly, living in social groups is a substantial part of establishing our self-definition. The reasons are as follows. Firstly, in human society, people mostly work in group. In order to realize a particular purpose, it is better for us to cooperate with each other, just like ant society. As a individual in a group, we have to take our own responsibilities and the work may mostly be what we are good at. Therefore, in a social group, we can usually find what we are good at, and this is conductive to our self-identification. Moreover, in human society, groups can be divided into various types or levels. Some groups are formed by their common habits, some groups are created to get something done, some groups exist for sharing and forth. Numerous groups are not isolated, since they have interconnection with each other. It is possible that a man belong to several different social groups. When we step into our own groups, it indicate that we basically have found our position or natures, while sometimes we may observe that we are not fitted for some special groups. During these steps, we are getting closer to know ourselves. Finally, In a social group, people are still different from each other even if they share some common qualities. Hence, we are able to recognize the uniqueness of ourselves when we interact with others. To sum up, to define ourselves, it is necessary to have ourselves involved in some social groups.

Nevertheless, though social activities are indispensable in defining ourselves, it is inappropriate to make the assertion that identification with social groups is the primary way. In my view, the unique personalities of every one contribute a lot to self-definition as well, of which the importance is at least equivalent to interactions in social groups. Each person is a unique individual in this world, whose personalities are born with or formed during the process of growth. If there were no special inherent characteristic existing in one’s mind, they would be shiftless and could not obtain their own values, which might result to the oneness of the world. In the condition of ignoring one’s own thoughts, how could people know themselves well, not simply following other’s words or ideas? To some extent, Inherent personalities help people decide which kind of groups they should join, and also help people to avoid the deviation when they involve in a group that is contradict to their personalities. Hence, the inherent personality is also indispensable when people try to define themselves.

From what has discussed above, I can safely conclude that the process people’s self-identification is required both social involvement and inherent personality. Indeed, those two parts actually perform their functions   commutatively.
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发表于 2014-12-26 11:12:07 |只看该作者
我觉得作者写的很有条理和深度呀,不过不知道会不会加一些比较现实的例子会更好呢,还有最后一段感觉写的有点简单了吧。。。。(纯属个人意见,毕竟我水平有限)

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板凳
发表于 2015-1-16 16:41:39 |只看该作者
楼主,你好!
我想你的中文思想深度还是要高于你的英文表达的,可以很明显的感觉到。
主要看中间两段: group: 三个点:1 实现个人目标时需要合作,合作是一个很好的发现自己的擅长与不足(define)的手段 2 在许多特定的组织中通过比照来反思自我(to be frank, I cannot catch your idea)
3. 组织中发现自己的独特性。 其实我任务2.3点可以合并,而且第二点也许可以作为中国人明白你想说的,但是看英文很迷糊。

而且中间这两段论证都是靠说理,顶多提到了ant ,也没有展开。建议还有要有例子支持会更饱满,表达方面有待提高。即使是simple fact, plain argument , and common sense 也可以很compelling!
狠拍了一下,希望楼主不要怪我,嘿嘿。

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RE: ISSUE38 求修改,求拍!谢谢 [修改]
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